You may have noticed I’ve been offline for the last few months, this is due to dealing with many stressful and trying issues in my personal life. I have recently felt the sting of being let down by the one person who I should’ve been able to trust more than anyone. And why am I telling you this? Because, I imagine, you, like I have got similar if not identical stories you could tell. The last few months have proven to be a real eye opener for me, I’ve come to realise the people who I can rely on and the people I can’t. Speaking to a friend recently who has gone through a similar experience she spoke of her belief in Khama, and what goes around comes around. I had to disagree with her on this, I’ve seen too many good people get hurt for too long to know that Khama is nothing more than a pretty idea thought up by a well meaning soul trying to urge people to move on with their lives. As I said to her, I use my words to exact my “revenge”, probably why I’ve not got round to writing that comedy yet- although a dark comedy is in the offing…
Recently Taylor Swift has come out and said she owes her success to her many heartbreaks and rejections- hard to believe I know, a twenty year old multimillionaire has ever felt either of those two emotions. But the evidence of both of them are there in her lyrics. And to any man reading this I don’t want you to think for a second that this is an “all men are bastards” propaganda speech- far from it, I’m perfectly well aware that there are many women out there who can cause just as much hurt. As I’ve said before now, arseholes are not gender specific.
So what you’re asking is the point of this?
Well, in the absence of any universal force that could settle up the balances my advice to anyone who’s recently been hurt is this;
Give yourself permission to cry, allow yourself some self-pity, then grab yourself by the lapels, give yourself a metaphorical slap round the face and snap out of it.
Best way to get even, if revenge is a driving force, is to be happy, if you can make a success of something you care about too then even better, whether parenting, completing that book you’ve been meaning to for the last three years or even just sorting out the spare room and literally throwing away baggage you’ve been carrying- very cathartic.
Worse thing to do is hold on to it, as goodness generally gets paid forward so does bitterness and resentment, whether consciously or not. I found my release in my writing and I’m happy to report the only ones who ever get my pain paid forward are the fictitious characters in my story.
And with that in mind and given my last few months it’s about time I started writing again- the piper is yet to be paid.
On an entirely separate note, I’ve just found out that one of my major sources of stress over the last few months is having car trouble….
…is that you…?